There’s no doubt that the holidays can be overwhelming. From work deadlines to holiday shopping, attending holiday events, travelling to visit family, and the financial pressure that comes with it all, it’s no wonder 64% of Americans feel that the holidays make their mental health worse. At least, that’s what the National Association of Mental Health (NAMI) found in a 2014 study of 300 Americans via a survey. Of the 64%, 24% of respondents with a diagnosed mental health condition said the holidays make their condition significantly worse, and the remaining 40% said it made their condition somewhat worse. While this certainly isn’t representative of everyone’s experience with mental health around the holidays, I believe it sheds light on an important topic: the holidays are not happy for everyone. And if that’s your experience, you are not alone.
It is important to note that this study was conducted several years ago, so it may not be a true representation of current trends. Additionally, the major global crisis that is COVID-19 has further impacted people’s mental health throughout the past nearly 3 years. Perhaps you are missing someone who would be around your table for Christmas dinner but who you have lost. Perhaps you feel the pain of tense or otherwise unhealthy family patterns. Or perhaps you feel the pressure to be joyful and social during “the most wonderful time of the year,” but you just feel lonely and isolated.
Whatever your feelings about the holidays, this study allows us to acknowledge that it’s all normal. Chances are there are many others at your place of work, the grocery store, the gym, or at parent pickup at your child’s school, who are feeling the exact same way. The results of this survey remind us to reach out in support for one another during this time of year. In fact, generosity can have a strongly positive impact on our mental health. According to a 2017 study by Park, et. al., there is a demonstrated neural link between generosity and happiness. No matter how small, acts of service can help boost your happiness chemicals and perhaps help you feel a little bit more in the holiday spirit. If you find yourself feeling a bit down this holiday season, consider some of the following acts of generosity. Can you bake cookies for your elderly neighbor? Can you extend a helping hand to the single mom who struggles to shovel her driveway? Can you simply write up a nice Christmas card for a friend, neighbor, or fellow parent?
Know that the holiday blues may overlap with diagnosed mental health disorders, but are ultimately different issues. Both can be quite serious, so be sure to seek help from a licensed mental health practitioner if you are struggling. Most importantly, know that regardless of your feelings about the holidays, there are likely many others feeling the exact same way. Paraphrased from Glennon Doyle, “the holidays are a great amplifier. Love gets lovelier. Hurt gets more painful. Loss gets sadder. Loneliness gets lonelier. And family gets bat-shit crazier.” If you are feeling any of those things, I feel the deepest empathy for you. We are never going to be everything to everyone. We can’t be perfect. But we can get through this holiday season, together.
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